Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
