i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
