I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
