I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
