Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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