It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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