Having a random hookup so left but love u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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