Duck Duck Cougar?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
