I hate your face
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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