I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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