He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
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Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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