We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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