i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
