Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
