Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
