Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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