roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
