moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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