I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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