Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
