I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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