I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize