I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
