We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
