So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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