After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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