You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
