I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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