My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
