Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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