I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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