You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
