You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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