does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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