ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
