Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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