So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
