She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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