I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just puked most of my soul out..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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