I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
