Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
