glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
