Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
