Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
