Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize