I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Come see our sink grown plant.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
