try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
