"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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