For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
