There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
one two three fourrrrnication!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
