well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My hand turned me down
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
