sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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