smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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