Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
