just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
