i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
